Diamonds in the Ruff

burn, clean, clean

2011-10-03T08:52:00.000-07:00

*To burn with frustration then glance at a puppy who is doing puppy things---and giggle.

*Clean carpet.

*Clean eyeglasses.

only, back, glass

2011-10-02T20:30:00.000-07:00

*I am tromping through the maze of house purchase. The most cheerful thing I can say about it is that this entire situation (fiasco)has challenged me to find and explore hitherto unexplored ways of reducing stress.

*"The Good Wife" is back.

*Sitting on the hillside I can see the yellow trees reflected in the looking glass lake.

bask, plugs, map

2011-04-01T18:17:00.000-07:00

* Basking in the new April sun I turn my face to capture it on my right cheek and ! see that the little tree has lime green delicate tiny leaves.

* The park looks like a Martian landscape after the plugger machine swaths back and forth.

* World map on the wall, I reacquaint myself with how the countries fit together.

trip,fresh,off

2011-03-30T11:50:00.000-07:00

*It's time for another trip. The hotel soap from the last one is all gone.

*Clean sheets and sleeping with the window open.

*Turning the television off.

short flowers, voices, willows

2011-02-27T14:31:00.000-08:00

*Nearly veered into a street sign when I spotted yellow croci in the tree row of the botanic gardens.

*Shrieky voices from children playing in the snow denuded park.

*Pussy willows.

Alice, wool, award

2011-02-02T19:04:00.000-08:00

*Alice in "Vicar of Dibley".

*wool...wool...wool. (sigh)

*To see a person who most deserves an award actually given an award.

notice

2011-01-31T21:37:00.000-08:00

*All day he has looked at the snow out the window and exclaimed that I certainly know when the snow and cold is coming and when it is time to start an eight hour's drive home. I glow because I have always known things and it is lovely for him to notice now.

birthday, early morning, life

2011-01-31T21:25:00.000-08:00

*I had the happiest, happiest birthday ever I had for a long time--and so simple it was.

Museums in the morning. Sitting on a sun warmed bench in the afternoon until my bottom was numb and my nose was cold. Then up the stairs to the San Francisco Grill for a Cobb salad to eat at a table by the window. We sat looking out until the still entangled Christmas lights of the Plaza were turned on. We walked back to the hotel to read in bed.

*We woke at the same time and walked out into the dark, under the arcade to buy some coffee. The Plaza was deserted, the arcade also. Our shoes counted out rhythm on the cold bricks. Coffee. Then into the car through the Sunday sleeping city of pinon smells and animal eyes glowing in the dark and crisp air.

*Life isn't about

waiting

for the storm

to pass,

it's about

learning

to dance

in the rain.

hole

2011-01-02T08:29:00.000-08:00

BECCA: Does it ever go away?

NAT: What?

BECCA:This feeling.

NAT: No. I don't think it does. Not for me, it hasn't.

And that's goin' on 11 years.(pause) It changes though.

BECCA: How?

NAT: I don't know. The weight of it, I guess. At some point it

becomes bearable. It turns into something you can crawl out

from under and carry around--like a brick in your pocket. And

you forget it every once in a while, but then you reach in for

whatever reason and there it is: "Oh, right. That." Which can

be awful. But not all the time. Sometimes it's kinda...not

that you like it exactly, but it's what you have instead of

your son, so you don't wanna let go of it either. So you

carry it around. And it doesn't go away, which is.....

BECCA: What

NAT: Fine...actually.

"Rabbit Hole"

temperature, veg, leaps

2011-01-02T07:46:00.000-08:00

*The subtle discernment of temperatures in the winter. Right pinky finger numbness. Hair crackly. Toes unfelt. Nose hair frozen at inhalation.

*Cleaning out the refrigerator of old, forlorn vegetables. Into a warm nourishing soup they go.

*Small dogs leaping over snow drifts to follow.

gone

2010-12-31T20:14:00.000-08:00

*I held her all the way in the car--wet dog smelling, limp, rolled up in a dark blue fluffy towel. It seemed that I could feel her ribs through the towel. He couldn't find a vein until the third leg. I never knew she had freckles there. I knew she could not see well and hardly could hear but that her sense of smell was still keen so I kept my hands and as much of my body as possible near her nose. Her muzzle rested on my palm. A bit of pink liquid and I felt her gone before he even placed his 'scope on her chest. My cheek nuzzled her as I kissed her good-bye. Blindly I found the door knob and stumbled out toward the car, pieces of her fur in my pocket. Through it all I kept my sunglasses pinched onto my spectacles to hide my swollen eyes, the tears dripping down my cheeks.The gem of this day is the remembrance of the pure joy she gave for seventeen years.

back, musings, head cold

2010-12-02T11:31:00.000-08:00

*Arriving at my home airport. Riding the fast moving train. Finding my check in intact. Then out into the cold:precipitation action obsecures parts of the mountains and dances over the plains. The ride home in the car, the last integral of a happy trip.

*The day after, I muse about people I met.

*And now a head cold. An excuse to wrap myself in shawls, drink hot tea, not eat, and watch old movies.

ring, spark, water bowl

2010-10-29T19:29:00.000-07:00

* I am early. The guest of honor has not arrived nor any guests. I snag women who look like they are here for the party as they walk by, coming in from the cold. They continue to come even as we settle at a table downstairs (the g of h arrives from the dentist) and we pull over tables and tables and tables until the room is at a bursting point and filled with ladies ooing and admiring THE RING.

*"At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person." How many times I have borrowed a spark!

*A water bowl sloshes with a brown cocker spaniel ear.

29th, road, square

2010-10-28T14:38:00.000-07:00

*T e-mails to ask if this is his sister's birthday and I plunge into memories of 29 October 1972--the wet red and yellow leaves on the early morning sidewalk on the way to the hospital, the amazement of delivery after succumbing to imaging I would be pregnant for the rest of my life, bliss.

*We drive a favorite road which runs (funny, a road running) parallel to the mountains, far out on the prairie past enormous grain silos, dodging tumble weeds.

*I master a mitered square!

Mma, reservoir, ears

2010-10-27T19:07:00.000-07:00

*Mma Ramotswe

*I drove to the reservoir road and paused to view the autumn hued city. On my right is the city, on my left is the brimming reservoir with late season boaters slicing through the cold blue water.

*The ears of Wilson the basset hound flap in the gale-like wind.

sage, hole up, petals

2010-07-25T18:25:00.000-07:00

*I drive by our former house and see the Russian sage blooming purple flowing over the fence that I built.

*We hole up in the cool of the apartment all day, reading. At dusk we go out to sit on the patio following the setting sun and breathing in the cool shadows.

*I peel away the dried red rose petals daily to keep the roses on the table for as long as possible.

instant, fresh, ask

2010-07-23T08:05:00.000-07:00

*That enchanting instant when from a hodge-podge of letters comes a word. Ahhh! Scrabble.

*Fresh unused mini colored pencils ready to glide over paper.

*Having someone to ask where something is that we just drug from one apartment to another.

braided, grasses, boxes

2010-07-20T20:20:00.000-07:00

*Yellow braided straw placemats on a dark oak table.

*I chose grasses to plant in my pots this year and they sway with the wind when I line them up on the ledge of the patio:3 yellow pots, one black and one cobalt blue.

*Tidy-ing up the boxes placed on the floor of the new-to-us living room just enough to create an island we can safely walk around until tomorrow.

cousins, chain, aroma

2010-07-16T04:01:00.000-07:00

*A long unseen cousin and I marvel at our similar likes and dislikes.

*I walked the streets that my father walked as a child, saw the houses my mother grew up in, heard stories of my grandmother-she with the ten children. The dead have come alive and I can look to left and right to see the endless chain of ancestors and descendents which fastens me together.

*Laying my nose into the soft buff colored fur of the dog to inhale her distinctive aroma at the end of a day's journey.

gliding, patter,Lola

2010-06-19T12:23:00.001-07:00

*Gliding through the pool in the near dark. The intense heat of the day has fled, the wind has died down, sags and wrinkles are semi-invisible and I know I will sleep well.

*The lovely patter between the doctor and nurse as they divert my thoughts from the impending injection. I count the seconds that the needle remains in my knees:3 seconds for the right, 4 for the left. And I am free to leave.

*Lola is coming for her first visit.

booth, planters, sweetness

2010-06-17T19:40:00.001-07:00

*Slipping into a booth while he finds a parking space, ordering a frozen margarita. When he comes through the door I watch him before he sees me. And he walks toward me, a ship toward its moor.

*Cleaning out the outside closet and thinking of all the gorgeous plants to grow in the empty planters.

*When I step outside the door a waft of sweetness engulfs me. What is this? Is it the neighbor's dryer sheet? A new floor cleaner someone below us is trying out? Question answered when I turn around and see the pot of purple petunias that I planted before I went to the beach. They are blooming profusely.

bush, pounds, layered

2010-06-17T15:03:00.000-07:00

*When I left I could not even see the buds on the rose bushes and now they are a riot of color. One branch pokes through the fence surrounding the swimming pool:"Let me in, I want to swim."

*Curious to figure out which apartment the pounding is originating from.

*Fresh post-it notes layered in the colors of the rainbow.

warm, mint,fan

2010-06-16T19:53:00.000-07:00

*A warm teapots.

*Changing purses and finding a mint.

*The whirrrrr of a fan when I most need it.

believe, beach, reunion

2010-06-14T23:12:00.000-07:00

*To have someone say "I believe you".

*Creatively finding ways to keep alive and precious the deep contentment found during two weeks on the beach.

*Anticipating a reunion with my Aunt Rose whom I have not seen since 195?.

talking, talking, sorting

2010-05-21T13:58:00.000-07:00

*Talking to my Aunt Rose.

*Talking to a Catherine relative.

*Sorting out ancestors.

benign, sew, a box

2010-05-14T08:45:00.000-07:00

*"Benign" A beautiful word. benign benign benign benign. benign tumor=trips to the beach, journeys to relatives, wearing newly sewn dresses,wiggling toes in shoes. Benign is escaping the downward spiral which is the march to death. Benign.

*Constructing a dress .Pattern. Laying out fabric on an immense flat surface. Pinning. The snick of sharp scissors. Needle poking through layers of fabric. The hiss of a hot iron. Hand sewing the hem. Making a tidy bolt of cloth into body covering. Coco, I understand you.

*A box of chocolates wrapped with a flowery hairband on Mother's Day.

gp, dog, abloom

2010-05-05T13:45:00.000-07:00

*I really like my general practitioner. She patiently answers my questions and encourages me to be a better, healthier person.

*Dog in the back of the car (it is cool enough so we evade the anti-dog-in-the-car-people), we trundle about on errands. With each stop the dog smell more strongly pervades the car.

*A bike ride to the doctor. Crisp air, few cars, pride at evading the draw of Starbucks, ducks gliding on a lake, fruit trees abloom.

plunge, travel shows, ticket

2010-05-03T13:46:00.000-07:00

*new swimsuit on

goggles

swim cap

towel

submerge.....

I enter a silent world=first dip of the season.

*Travel programs. Today I am Geneva, home of the International Red Cross (first named something else).

*Ticket purchased. I consider what to take. Will T's inherited fruit cake pass security?

morning dog, simple, sprinklers

2010-04-26T13:17:00.001-07:00

*As I stumble out to the big room, R begins to tell me the story of taking the dog outside first time today. I laugh throughout the day when I think of it. Will it be as funny when I tell it here? The dog sleeps in the bathroom(easier to tidy up messes) and R puts her collar on there to carry her down the stairs. (She was born in Nov 1993 so the stairs are difficult for her.) Today he set her down on the sidewalk. Thump! Over she falls. He picks her up and sets her on the grass. Thump! Over she falls. R finally bent down to inspect this dog-who-continues-to-fall-over and discovers that he has caught her front paw up into her collar as he put it on her. I giggle because I can imagine how dopey-sleepy he must have been and the dog's response, "Oh, well. Now what are they doing to me?"

*Confined to a chair or bed it is fun to slip back into doing simple things and just thinking.

*Watching landscapers fiddle with automatic sprinkler systems.

a book, total comfort,

2010-04-25T16:49:00.000-07:00

*Double Comfort Safari Club

*Spending the day in my nightgown. Not done since 1976.

*I hear a spontaneous football game going on as I lay in bed, then see lads in muddy shirts dashing about in the park.

rain, bok, Myrna

2010-04-23T18:10:00.000-07:00

*I totally love walking in the rain, even when it is cold rain.

*Bok choy+fresh ginger+broccoli+garlic

*Myrna Loy in "The Best Years of Our Lives"

hiatus over

2010-04-22T09:30:00.000-07:00

Our fam has been gliding (actually, holding onto the main mast for dear life through the chopiest of choppy waters)on a sea of medical sticky wickets since Jan 17th. As a result of the turmoil I have not listed gems for awhile. "Who reads your blog anyway, MOM" says a son whom I forgive for his youthful distain of my blogland endeavours.

Well so what? If no one one reads my blog is it still a blog? (reference to tree falling in forest sans listener).

It was lung and bile duct cancer--given a 2-3 month life. But it is over and R and I managed to laugh along the route--however impolite the laughter during the travails of the dying. Jeez! What am I saying? Laughter kept us sane because after all we were the ones making the yucky decisions and still making the after life ones.

So here goes---

*I looked out today and spring smacked me (unhurt) in the face:fruit tree blooms about to burst, the greeness on the foothills as I drove west, mallards mating....

*I found liquid Omega-3, chocolate flavored. I hadn't been doing Omega-3 because the capsules were toooo big to get down my throat.

*We may get to move into a bigger (slightly), sunnier (on the west side) apt with a niftier floor plan.We'll find out May 1.

waiting, news, warmth

2010-03-02T21:20:00.000-08:00

*He says to wait inside the bookstore but I want to inhale the fresh air of a warm now cooling day. Through the doors I find a bench. As I sit, books in hand, my nose gradually becomes numb and I wrap a saffron sarong around my head. When he comes he does not recognize me.

*Hearing good news second hand of a friend who will not see me.

*Warm enough to leave the door and windows open.

cleared for action, purr, ting

2010-03-01T12:49:00.000-08:00

*In order not to loose a piece of paper, a book, a DVD, a bill I tell everyone to "put it on my desk". Then comes the satisfying moment when I've put all these things in their places and my desk is clear to do the work I really like to do. Like Hornblower's "clear for action" bellow.

*Annette Bening's voice described as "a dark rum-flavored purr".

*The tingy thud of melting snow as it falls three stories through the down spout to land in the crook turn of metal.

visit, gramma,earring

2010-02-27T17:22:00.000-08:00

*He visits, cooks. A week later I cannot find things in the kitchen. I smile.

*My two grown sons visit their dying gramma and bring her happines.

*I find a lost dangly earring under the car seat just as I was about to

make a necklace of its mate.

ride,melting,period clothing

2010-02-26T18:33:00.000-08:00

*An hour's bike ride on the path+ "The Last Station"+ An hour's bike ride home.=bliss

*Melting snow has flowed across the sidewalk. It is a continuous graph. Stalactites. Craggy mountains silhouetted.

*The clothing of Countess Tolstoy. Pure white lace. Her upswept hair.

clouds, balm, zip, feisty

2010-02-24T11:32:00.000-08:00

*Snow clouds form over the western mountains reminding me of the short moments right before the curtains open at a play:anticipation, movement, shadow and light.

*New mint lip balm flavored just like my first lipstick.

* She has not dressed warmly enough so I give her my grey winter coat which overwhelms her small weight loss frame. As she ties the hood I bend down to zip and it reminds me of all the zippers I have raised for squirmy children.

*When I remind R to pick up his Mom's medicine I say,"Watch out or she'll feisty you." (From the time her doctor said, "She's feisty.")

Chinese, hung in a row, willows

2010-02-17T18:08:00.000-08:00

There is a bit of a discussion about finding gems in daily life. Some people say it is proper to find something nice and put it after a comma or however ("The rain ruined the picnic however"," the grass turned a lovely green.) So Pollyanna. Bah! A gem is walking down a black and white street and turning the corner into vivid technicolor without even mentioning the black and white. Bumbling about then gobsmacked.

*Discovered a hole in the wall out of the way delicious Chinese-Japanese-Thai restaurant a brief walk from the old homestead.

*The sheep and lambs are finally hung in a straight line as though a load of wash.

*Pussy willows--fuzzy, pearly.

bread, egg, thumping

2010-02-07T20:34:00.000-08:00

*A really terrific loaf of bread. needs nothing slathered over it. aroma, texture,density,flavor,grain flawless.

*A still warm egg.

*I hear the thumping on the outside stairs and know that they are home safe.

costumes, word, attitude

2010-02-06T15:47:00.000-08:00

*The day after viewing The Young Victoria I am still marveling at the sumptuous costumes, at Emily Blunt's decolletage, her collarbone structure. Victoria's photos do not convey her vivaciousness but it certainly comes through in the movie.

*I read the critique of the scene in which Victoria first sees Albert. Her use of the word "Hello!"is anachronistic or in the least the word was not used by her class and I understand what the writer of the critique was saying but her use of the word certainly conveys her vitality and youthfulness.

*Blunt's body language conveys much. In the scene with the new Prime Minister Robert Peel, Victoria's back is ramrod straight as she, a young woman new to the throne, asserts her authority. After he leaves the room she slumps and sprawls back into the armless chair, the reason for a regal attitude no longer present.

3 verbs,water in air, youngsters

2010-02-06T12:42:00.000-08:00

*We sit around thinking up parodies of "eat, pray, love".

wash, rinse, repeat.

slip, shovel, walk.

gorge, burp, throw up.

dig, bury, forget about.

buy, purchase, go bankrupt.

drink, collapse, repeat.

stop, look, listen.

fold, spindle, mutilate.

gut, skewer, roast.

*The moisturized difference of just fifteen minutes of a purring humidifier.

*In every aisle of the market today are children being pushed in carts. I love to watch them--their tiny fingers, babyfine hair,soft round cheeks--and remember when mine were young.

February, footprints, chocolate

2010-02-06T12:28:00.000-08:00

*It must be February--last night lying in bed I began to plan the garden.

*Footprints pressed into mud now frozen in place on the path of my daily walk--dog (of course), raccoon, bird, duck, human, horse.

*Chocolate gluten free cupcakes baking.

limit, making music, fish bowl

2010-02-03T14:55:00.000-08:00

*I decided to limit my time being with people who do not want me to sing or whistle.

*I buy a harmonica.

*As I walk past the fish tanks at the Vietnamese restaurant a little girl in a puffy pink winter jacket stands by a large black bowl of fish which is just at her height. Her finger slowly creeps along the rim of the bowl toward a large orange-gold fish. She so much wants to pet the fish, to touch its shininess.

lilacs, dressing,neighbors

2010-01-14T11:28:00.001-08:00

*Through the countryside I drive past a long row of bare branched tall bushes, so wintry. And then I remember that this is a long(quarter of a mile?) row of lilac bushes that in May will be overladened with deep purple lilac blossoms. The thought and imagined aroma leads me to remember and index all the places in town I go to collect lilac branches in the spring, places that are public and where no one will accost me when I relieve the bushes of heavy branches. Let's see....by the pizza place, by my daughter's former apartment, around the corner of the grocery store.....oh, yes, by the church with the maze.

*A new and different salad dressing.

*I come across our neighbors as they are closing their door--they are out to lunch having just gotten up after a night of writing (him) and art(her). She is so cute in a grey jogging outfit and bouncing ponytails.

stained glass,tools,ruminations

2010-01-13T06:21:00.000-08:00

*A late night supper by the large windows of a restaurant looking out over Old Town Square. I've spent the day helping a woman in the hospital who dislikes me so the bangers and mash are especially good and it is lovely to be with my son and his wife. The white Christmas lights are still strung through the trees under which happy people stroll. I glance up to the second story windows of the buildings opposite (shops on the ground floor, offices above) and notice for the first time ever (I've never been here at so dark a time)that the long windows have a wide rim of stained glass through which light is passing.An iris blue, garnet red, jonquil yellow. Someone is late at work. When I glance back up as we are about to leave the windows are dark and I know the person is homeward to their supper.

*I like to give people the tools with which to solve a problem. They pick up the tools and find solutions.

*The lovely rumination of someone else's idea and the decision whether or not to agree with it.

balloon, type, facecloths

2010-01-11T15:43:00.000-08:00

*"Can the balloon be on it,too?"

"Yes."

"And the plants will be fresh?"

"They will find really nice plants in their greenhouse."

And so the plants are sent out as a thank you.

*Thank you, Dad, for forcing me to take that typing class. I've been doing it all day and making things legible.

*A stack of new facecloths--muted colors and fluffy.

b and m, floating, eyes closed

2010-01-07T16:54:00.000-08:00

*Bangers and mash. Potatoes so soft and warm I want to lie down in them and forget the negative numbers. With the skins left in. Sausage crisp browned skin that takes some extra muscle and pop when my teeth finally go in. With warm applesauce.

*I forget about the warm floating table when I lay down for a facial and just about slid off onto the floor--so easy then to imagine I am on a water mattress in the summer pool.

*We have a morning routine that I can do with my eyes barely open.

massage and coffee, rosy glow, 40's

2010-01-04T18:45:00.000-08:00

*Perfect day=a massage by someone who knows when to talk and when to be quiet+Vietnamese coffee at a cafe where I am not bustled along so as to vacate the table and chair.

*Little bits of Australian wine left in a canning jar on the table. When I peer through the red the world shimmers and glows.

*40's radio programs on the car radio--the sound effects and the need to describe all the action in words. My brain works hard to imagine just what is going on and I purposefully drive out of my way to hear the end of the tale.

dormez, bebe; vertical, a pile, olfactory

2010-01-03T21:03:00.000-08:00

*I read the twitters of a very tired mother and send good vibes and love to her.

*Just as I ask the weather forecast I can say it myself for out the window vertical snow (horizontal would mean wind additionally)is falling and continues until the street lights go on and make the flakes glisten.

*Sitting in our usual Sunday chairs at the bookstore engrossed in my top-of-the-pile book I glance up to see him similarly engrossed in a book from an equally tall pile.

*When we choose Sunday chairs they are just far enough from the bakery to ignore my chocolate desires but deliciously close enough to fascinate my olfactory sense.

juice, coffee, day off +

2010-01-02T21:07:00.000-08:00

*Crisp apple juice.

*Grinding coffee in the market--the freshness follows me into the car for the drive home. Even after I put it into the kitchen the car retains the wonderful coffee smell, a plus for being forced to keep the car windows closed in the cold weather.

*As I take a day off from my desk I realize that I've become too engrossed in some projects. It's like I stepped away and can get a better perspective of all the tatty paperwork which covers my spindly folding table desks.

(*He bought me a reissued cartoon collection that we both grew up reading. I haven't looked through them but enjoy his laughter and "I remember this one" as he reads them.)

fishbowl, lap baby, streets

2010-01-01T16:03:00.000-08:00

*I work on something till my eyes are dry and stinging. Look up. And see it has become dark outside and my work at my desk a fishbowl in front of the open blinds.

*Connecting with someone about a family photo in which her ancestor is a month old baby on his mother's lap.

*The holiday has slowed down the city so that the streets are quiet--I can drive and look around without worry that I'll run into something.

giggle, layers, nose bag

2009-12-16T09:30:00.000-08:00

*I don't look forward to a trip to the dentist (even for a mere cleaning) but the lounge/exam chair is so comfy and the view through the austere (no fancy drapery) window of the mountains is lovely. Then the dentist and his assistant begin singing along to the radio tunes and I can hardly keep from giggling. Try to suppress a giggle with your mouth yawning wide and ten fingers (someone else's) inside.

*Marveling again how the mountains and foothills present themselves in layers:scrub bushes dusted with snow,then purple-grey and on to the tallest blanketed in thick white.

*Finally having oatmeal breakfast to a chorus of the dog crunching a mid-morning snack. "Oh, if you're going to eat I'll have a little something, too."

biscuits, soup, back

2009-12-15T17:23:00.000-08:00

*Warm biscuits made from scratch with...

*Leek-potato-broccoli soup and...

*a returned hero.

sketching, flakes, fraps

2009-12-12T19:59:00.000-08:00

*Kate sketches me without me noticing.

*We cut out snowflakes together--the method returning after years of neglect.

*I make fraps but am so involved in the conversation that I forget to put in the sugar.

packet, literate, watch

2009-12-05T08:00:00.000-08:00

*I receive a thick packet from the National Archives.I had been cautioned that the process of finding the file I wanted, copying it and sending it might take 6 months but it has only been 6 weeks. When I open the envelope I am transported back to 1871 when ancestors filed legal papers to enable them to receive a pension of their son mortally wounded in the War of the Rebellion. I learn they could not read or write, they are destitute. Their son was their sole support. And I learn that Joseph was wounded in both knees at the Battle of Missionary Ridge in late November, 1863, and died in a field hospital in Chatanooga on December 13. To know what happened to him is a mother's relief.

*To be able to read and write, to have been taught as a young girl.

*I leave Zed's watch to be cleaned and repaired. "I will always take care of you" I whisper.

deplane, smoke, chartreuse

2009-11-17T06:15:00.000-08:00

gems and impressions from a week in the woods:

*When I deplane vegetal air rushes to envelope me.

*Smoke of autumn follows me as I drive. A mother and children are gathered around red licking flames. Their clothes when they prepare for bed tonight will exude a reminder of their leaf fire and the potatoes Mom popped into the embers as a surprise.

*Chartreuse waxy brainscaped sphere, clean tangy aroma--maclura pomifera.

packing, no, time change

2009-11-06T13:50:00.000-08:00

*Packing fly to a big city, drive to a cabin in a big woods.

*laptop, yes

laptop, no

therefore no gems for a while.

*Liking very much the results of the time change.

PS-- I so like the way brussel sprouts grown on their tough

looking, thick stalk. They are sold on stalk at the market so

shoppers angle them in the push basket (bec they are so

long) and I just found a good receipe for them that I'm

going to try when I come back from the cabin in the woods. It

-the receipe-involves forbidden thick bacon.

family, the whole day long, canvas

2009-10-16T19:15:00.000-07:00

*In this month of my father's birth and death I have been missing him. To counteract this longing for both of my parents I decided to get super busy with classes, exercise--pulling out my bag of tricks to keep depression at bay. I am taking a genealogy class. Yesterday I called a cousin who I have not seen since 1967. Today a second cousin returned my call. What fun and joy to hear family stories, impressions. I learned that my aunt's real first name was Wilma. And family history will come to me in the mail.

*An entire day of sunshine and warmth.

*Kate brought over my painting of sunflowers. For now I put it in my office and its oils permeate the room.

safe, cousin, ristra

2009-10-15T16:21:00.000-07:00

*Sitting in a barbeque joint. One lady walks by with a holstered gun on her hip and handcuffs tucked into her jeans. Three men walk by with holstered hand guns. All in plainclothes. = I feel safe while enjoying barbeque.

*I talked to a cousin for the first time since 1967. No difficulties between us, just busy lives.

*I finally decide to hang the ristra from the chandeleer.

side by side, lost in Seattle?, golden beauty

2009-10-14T13:38:00.000-07:00

*Sitting side by side figuring out computers.

*Wondering if maybe I got lost in Seattle without my knowing it and then being smacked in the eye by the sun (for the first time in how many days?).

*When I glance up to the shelf my eye is caught by the ikon that I bought in St Julien.

Monday, stack, relaxation techniques

2009-10-12T08:49:00.000-07:00

*Dog walked. Coffee brewed. Shot received. Crossword puz complete. "Metropolitan Dairy" read.Latte in hand. threebeautifulthings.blogspot.com and parisdailyphoto.com = Monday has begun.

*A stack of books to begin.

*Wowy zowy! Do dogs ever know how to relax!

a knock, first snow, jacket

2009-10-11T19:44:00.000-07:00

*A knock on the red door. I wrap my yarn around the hand. "Can you come over for a minute?"

The wind and cold smack my face but it is a mere 5 steps before I am enveloped by warm air (furnace is on). Then I see---three sunflowers on canvas, their round seed centers a deep, rich brown-black. A partial leaf peeks out among the yellow petals. K has painted a canvas for me. How can I wait until it is dry so that I can hang it? (I know which wall already.)

*A first snow. Is it too early? The most common question from the people--adults and children--that I meet when I walk Khaki:"Does she like the snow?"

*In previous winters I've layered through the cold weather--sweaters, hoodies, scarves. Today I found a warm jacket with mitten pockets in the shop.

eastward ho, etchings, c fit

2009-10-07T20:41:00.000-07:00

*Relief at making a big decision--going easterly to where I have not been for 9 (!!) years. Going in an iffy weather month. Deep breath. "Enter"

*In a semi-circle where everyone is much older than I. The courage and stories that are etched onto their faces.

*Soothing someone who is on the verge of a "conniption fit"--he slowly begins to come back to what is really important in the day.

beginnings, mask, wine

2009-10-02T07:48:00.000-07:00

*I take K out in semi-darkness for her first potty of the day and giggle at the funny sartoritaltude of the other dog owners in this early time. Then I look down at what I am wearing. Fluffy pink socks shoved incompletely into too-small sandals. R's huge (pockets full) jeans held up by green suspenders (all my trousers are wet in the washer). A torn sleeved hoodie covering my pj top. I shudder to think what my hair looks like. Thank goodness for semi-dark. We walk in a different direction than usual, between the buildings, which presents a perfect open-ness to see the sun just beginning its crawl over the horizon and across the sky.

*A green facial mask which tightens my skin.

*Supplies purchased, the wine making begins tomorrow.

*Mumps. Arms around my driving father's neck. Singing at the top of my lungs. From Ohio to California. My father was mumpless.

October for Father, On the ridge, high country

2009-10-01T05:10:00.000-07:00

I've decided that October will be a month when I mention one gem about my father per day. I feel particularly close to my father during Octobers because he was born in this month (18) and died in this month (24) (not in the same year of course!).

*One of the first memories I have of my father is him reading to me before bedtime. I would watch his lips form the words of "Goldilocks" especially liking the way they moved when he said "Papa Bear." Listening to him read began my life long enjoyment of books. Awakening at night from bad dreams, I would toddle to his lap as he sat in his easy chair and cuddle back to sleep while he silently read his big, heavy grown-up books.

*We take our coffees up to the ridge. On our left is the reservoir, now slowly shrinking to its wintertime size. Dotted with white caps I marvel at its colors--not just a uniform blue but all the shadings of blue and some green. And so cold, cold, cold it looks. On our right is the town. The aspens and cottonwoods are just beginning to add yellows to the green quilt of trees (thrashed by the wind) and streets. I used to be able to find our house just there by the red tiled roofs but it's not ours anymore. Ahead of us is smoke and we follow roads searching for its origins until I realized it may not be near a road (not many roads here). The smoke trails for miles in the fierce winds.

*I wake to snow in the high country.

snuggle, illumination, canal

2009-09-30T13:21:00.000-07:00

*Snuggling-in-the-morning weather. YES!!!

*The people across the street leave their shades open all the time. In the dark their building is in shadows with their 2 windows illuminated. It is like viewing a play...A human walks across through the bright lights (wearing whatever) mouth moving in speech and walks back on another path. Sometimes a man sits at a table with his back to us, eating while reading a book. An eerie insight into lives. (And fascinating to see how they decorated their apt.)

*I wake from a dream that begins in Paris and ends in Venice. R is with me but we loose one another in the crowd and my cellphone won't reach him. Suddenly I am in a gondola with Michelle Williams (whose picture I just saw at the bookstore) and her boyfriend, a polo player who models for Ralph Lauren. The gondola begins to sink influencing Michelle to leap out onto the plaza by St Mark's. I wake knee deep in canal with my purse flooded with water thinking, "I hope I do not get an eye infection like Katherine Hepburn." In real life the wind is tearing up the trees and a cold front is coming.

K, swam, mull

2009-09-29T20:30:00.000-07:00

*K comes over (with shiny purple-black toenails) when the men are out. We touch base--she had another job interview, I went to the computer store. The wine idea comes around again--the name, the source, just how do we do this? And we are off onto plans of concoctions together. More later....

*We swam yesterday. Will it be the last time outdoors this year? The water was warm but coming out was icy.

*I allowed myself to fidget from task to task today, all the while worrying that I would not accomplish anything using this agenda. But I did--the bills got paid, more (cheap) silverware got purchased to replace that which we continue to break, decisions were made. Time was there to mull on several yucky things I've been avoiding.

no snow, sweaters, shadows, color

2009-09-24T06:46:00.000-07:00

*Waking up to see that the weather forecaster is wrong--no snow.

*Pulling sweaters that I have not seen since May out of boxes and remembering when and where I knitted them. And remembering that they exist.

*Lying in bed in the morning watching the shadows created by the vertical blinds slowly disappear.

*K does not laugh at my horrid hair color but instead reassures me that it will fade.

Fests

2009-09-15T12:53:00.000-07:00

*Icy rain falling in a bowl created by mountains. A fitting place and weather for a Scottish fest. We walk through air dense with the aromas of food vendors--haggis, pasties, tea, whiskey, turkey legs, kettle corn. Ah! Refuge in an enormous white tent where I find a ring Heart tearing music created by men in swirling kilts. Leaping young ladies with hair in buns. Throwing of heavy metal balls. Hugh hairy dogs. Sheep gently guided around a pen by a dog in control. Happy people.

*My fingers are numb when we finally climb into the car.

*And the next day we visit a blue domed round church inside of which are men in long black robes with long beards. Chanting, incense, Greek hymnals. Aromas await us outside:lamb, spices, ouzo. Little girls heel and toe with arms in the air. The sun shines.

Missed

2009-09-15T07:27:00.000-07:00

Yipes! I've missed a few days. Pardon. Later today....

pie, pink, wiggles

2009-09-04T19:10:00.000-07:00

*Shepard's Pie with taties. We eat at a table facing the window so we can watch people passing by and also see a rather long truck back up onto the street.

*A completed pink sweater.

*Windex wiggles a ring off.

end of day

2009-09-03T10:47:00.000-07:00

Scene at the end of the day:

*fluffy tan dog sprawled at my feet,

*feet on wooden crate,

*knitting in hands,

*catching up with katiaandkyliemac.com

click, moon, leaves

2009-09-02T08:09:00.000-07:00

*The crisp click (though "politically incorrect" ) of a cigarette lighter.

*The moon as orange as a pumpkin, due to the fires.

*Cold nights hasten me to carry in the plants from the balcony. I distribute them around the apartment, even placing some on the book ledge by the window in the bedroom. First sight this morning, lovely. Sunlight filtering through the green leaves.

professions, nap, overcast

2009-08-30T16:23:00.000-07:00

*I remember again the professionalism of the ambulance team and the ER staff and am in awe of this bit of our medical community that I experienced yesterday.

*A nap..a nap..a nap.

*An overcast day in which to recuperate and be mellow and watch movies.

Strange day

2009-08-29T20:05:00.000-07:00

A strange day. There really were gems in it:

*Digereedoo, "Norwegian Wood" played on piano and bass, accordian, drums.All their musics follow us down the shaded outdoor mall.

*Flower planters overflowing--I want to take pictures of them all.

*The ballet of paramedics as they try to figure out what is wrong with R.

*Passing the time, long since out of yarn, in the ER by thinking about military time.

*He enumerates topics by pointing to the oxygen monitor on his finger.

*Home together.

detour, red, Hawaii

2009-08-28T08:26:00.000-07:00

How could I have skipped three days of gems? Well, here's for today.....

*Road repairs force me to detour through alleyways (this city still has them) and I pass by backyard gardens and towering hollyhocks.

*Finally deciding on a car--red.

*The salesperson asks, for the purchase forms, my birthdate.
"I was born on that date!"--he says.
"Where were you born?"--says I.
"Hawaii."--he replies.
"!!!So was I!"--a fleeting bond.

weather, newspaper, food

2009-08-24T11:08:00.000-07:00

*A weatherman refers to a hurricane as "a hunk of moisture".

*The Metropolitan Diary part of the Monday New York Times.

*A nutritionist who patiently walks me through carbs and protein and fats.

flops, cylinders, the plains...

2009-08-23T12:23:00.000-07:00

*The flop of flip-flops (or is it the flip?).

*Highly polished silver metal cylinders stacked horizontally lengthwise sparkling in the sun.

*We drive out onto the plains:
--a farmer on a tractor giving his wheat field a butch haircut
--derelict houses that I want to rescue, live in and restore
--stinky feedlots of sheep
--long sprinklers with hanging down showers-the sprinklers travel in circles so the
irrigated fields are circular. Have you seen them from the air?
--fields of sugarbeets
--racing a parallel train
--the yellow of stately sunflowers goes on and on in fields
--golden cubes of hay
--heat shimmering from a silver quonset hut (I am particularly fond of quonset huts)
--in a field of sugar beets last year's seeds have sprouted so that there are taller corn
plants in among the short dark green leaves of sugar beets

A marvelous day. My senses are satiated.

G Quest, ride, tech

2009-08-22T15:58:00.000-07:00

*"Well, screw that! What is this thing? I mean it serves no purpose for there to be a bunch of chompy, crushy things in the middle of a hallway! We shouldn't have to do this! It makes no logical sense! Why is it here? ...Well, forget it. I am not doing it. This episode was badly written!...Whoever wrote this episode should die!"

*We go for a ride into the country after supper to cool off. It is a mixed blessing--the dog's breath from the back seat ("like the inside of a garbage truck") and R's minty, anise, herbal chewing tobacco substitute wafting from his mouth beside me.

*Modern medical tech--I put my foot in a pedicure soaking looking tub and 2 minutes later know what my bone density is.

over the fence,long sleeves, more plants than I remember

2009-08-20T19:55:00.000-07:00

*Sunflowers poke their heads over a worn fence like Buddha peering over his father's fence at the real world.

*The clean up lady has decided that the season is beginning to change--she was wearing a long sleeved shirt instead of her usual sleeveless one.

*I am beginning to move the plants inside for the cold weather (I won't say winter) and where in the heck did I get so many? Oh well, they will all sort themselves out.

quacking, CD,less than I look

2009-08-19T18:54:00.000-07:00

*A quacking noise came from below our balcony and when I stepped out to investigate a boy in our building had found the squeaky toy dinosaur on a bike in the rack too tempting. I called "Hi!" down to him to ask about his first day of school. He is a rather small boy going to Middle School for the first time, riding his bike two miles. He was chipper.

*We have to go on a car trip--"Canterbury Tales" on CD is 25 hours long and we've just begun it.

*A nutrition counselor who is surprised at my weight--she thinks I weigh less.

eye color, relief, by the pool

2009-08-18T18:10:00.000-07:00

*The lady who talks to me about exercise has eyes the color of my grand-daughter who I have not seen for a year.

*Relief to learn that I do not need to do certain strenuous exercises every day.

*A chaise lounge sit by the pool (can't go in because of a rice steam burn on my arm)catching up on the papers, cross words. The wind is blowing just enough for coolness but not enough to disturb the papers.

aroma, cafe, library

2009-08-17T16:02:00.000-07:00

*I pickle cucumbers and an allspice-cloves-bayleaf-vinegary aroma permeates the apt.

*The cafe of the market is full of shiny faced children in new clothes brought in for breakfast by their moms and grammas on the first day of school. We all sit on creaky wire chairs spotlighted by sunshine which shimmers in through the hugh garage door type open windows. The sprightly music adds to the atmosphere of anticipation for the new school year with new school supplies. Sitting around two tables pushed together in the corner is a group of elderly women enjoying the yearly ritual.

*The university classes have not begun, however, and the library is deserted. My shoes squeak over the tile in the atrium as I walk towards the elevator (let's save the knees today). Up three stories I find a cushioned chair, take in the view westward and settle in to read.

clouds, fish, trumpet

2009-08-16T17:39:00.000-07:00

*Purple clouds of sage.

*I can ride my bike to the market for the fish because it is so cool today.

*Creamy yellow trumpet vine spill over a weather beaten wooden fence.

Bows and Arrows

2009-08-15T09:38:00.000-07:00

On Children

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Kahlil Gibran

truck, sleep, dress

2009-08-14T13:43:00.000-07:00

*I see a pick up truck on the railroad tracks and think "What the?" then see the tiny metal wheels on which it rides the rails.

*Tiptoeing out while the dog sleeps, wondering if she will wake while we are gone and returning to find her in the exact position in which we left her.

*I wear an embroidered Mexican dress to lunch with a black shawl and feel very festive for our last lunch together.

doing something, chips, plates

2009-08-12T17:52:00.000-07:00

*Doing something that makes someone really happy.

*We three go to the store with three different appetites and habits and we come out with food I've never heard of and the chips!! "Cilantro, tomato, jalapeno & garlic pico de gallo" "cilantro and lime" "three pepper blue corn" We never even ever have chips, hardly.

*Yellow paper plates on a large dark oak table.

words, dog walk, lost

2009-08-11T20:51:00.000-07:00

*While sitting around the table eating food untame in the mouth we begin to pronounce words that feel good in our mouths:ghurka (or is it because it reminds me of pickles?), parapluie, trubka, trottoir--on and on until we fizzle out into laughter.

*K walks the dog with me (black plastic bag over my hand in preparation) and we catch up on what we've been doing which for me is the Stupa, the tea factory, sushi and for her is waiting for a reply from a grant so she can enroll in school. I am so exhausted (happily, very happily) from our visitor that I am totally zonked and begin two stories about animals who meet bazaar deaths. I stop in the middle of both of them (when I realize how rather depressing they are) and laugh. Passing the pink rose bush which is still fragrantly in bloom I stop to exclaim how great that (the blooming) is. Feeling redeemed we continue on.

*I can't find the labeller in all the wonderful visitor confusion but I will never lose the dog because she follows me around as I go from room to room.

mint, teas, fizzy

2009-08-10T17:22:00.000-07:00

*She raises the door of the mint storage room. We walk in. I am overpowered. My sinuses clear. My breath comes more easily. I taste the aroma of mint for hours. I want to return.

*Finding great variety of teas in the teashop that are not available anywhere else.

*Fizzy water as an alternative to still water.

warm, recognition, carrots

2009-08-08T18:05:00.000-07:00

*Six children come to swim at the pool--the oldest mother henning them along. The first one jumps in exclaiming in relief--"It's warm!!!"

*The Greek waiter recognizes us.

*Hair the color of new carrots on a little girl in the pool.

garage, puzzle, whistle

2009-08-07T09:13:00.000-07:00

*When I open the garage door to get my bike I am enveloped by garage smells--dripped oil, leather, dried paper books--which escape.

*Sharing a crossword puzzle with my son.

*After we watch Wallace and Grommit I whistle the title song the rest of the day.

influenced, fans, cloths

2009-08-05T15:26:00.000-07:00

*I've come across an interesting thing--with the help of two margaritas. Influenced by the m's I sat down in front of the computer to chill out and realized that I have bookmarked strange blogs. What was I thinking when I dog earred a blog about how to choose the length of my necklace? (Besides wondering when I actually wear a necklace.) Evidentially, the proper size of necklace to wear depends upon the size of the wearer's breasts---uh.

*Window fans=gems

*Ditto ice cold wash cloths worn on the top of the head.

water, water, maps

2009-08-04T15:19:00.000-07:00

*We go up to the river--icy cold, slick rocks, whitewater--and sit in silence soaking it in. Khaki follows me into the water and delicately laps. I sit on a rock and entice her into the deeper water. My feet lose feeling--can I walk back to shore?

*Coming back home we are all numb and sleepy. They sidle off to naps and I am left in the cool room drinking glass after glass of water like someone who has just crossed a desert.

*While swimming I glance over to the side of pool and see that he is studying a map.I am overwhelmed that this offspring is most like me.

movie, rest, replace

2009-08-03T19:49:00.000-07:00

*Going to a movie that I've seen with someone who has not seen it--the happy feeling I get when he laughs at the parts that I laughed at when I first saw it.

*A day off from exercising.

*No longer home owners, we report a broken toilet seat and while we are at the movie someone comes to replace it. No worries, no swearing, no trip to the hardware store.

shower, nap, cooking

2009-08-02T17:57:00.000-07:00

*We dash through the front door:
"I need a shower."
"You guys go ahead--I'm not so chloritized."

*A long gentle nap knowing all my chicks are safe in the same state.

*He prepares dinner for us!

waiting, desk, stamp

2009-08-01T14:46:00.000-07:00

*The anticipatory time before a visitor comes.

*Sitting at an old school desk and wondering what was learned on it.

*A new address stamp--clear and bold.

shadow, errands, olives

2009-07-30T14:12:00.000-07:00

*I move a lamp to the bedside and when we go to bed it creates a shadow on the ceiling. We alternate saying what the shadow looks like:a narrow broom, a cricket bat, a diving board...until one of us misses a turn and a loud snore escapes.

*He says he likes driving around with me.

*The olive bar at the store. And they supply toothpicks for samples.

petunias, stickiness, aroma

2009-07-29T20:12:00.000-07:00

*Purple velvet petunias dashed about by the wind.

*Mysterious stickiness completely scrubbed off the floor.

*Clothes drying on wooden racks bring a soapy, clean aroma to the room.

light, ginger, wrinkles

2009-07-28T18:11:00.000-07:00

*Goggles strapped to my head, I submerge into a muted world of dancing light through a prism of water. A shadow glides through the dancing light--me.

*Sushi with one sushi-loving friend and an skeptic. By the end of the meal, the skeptic has found sushi that he likes. And neither of them want their ginger--yum!

*Ironing out the wrinkles in a cambray shirt.

bundle, lines and notes, asparagus

2009-07-27T20:04:00.000-07:00

*Rumaging through the glove box I come across a short bundle of desert sage wrapped up with red string and remember the trip to Santa Fe.

*Something is to be dug up on the corner and the street, the sidewalk, even the grass has cryptic colorful notations and lines.

*Why is asparagus so cheap now? I thought it was a spring veg--not complaining. Just marveling at the sudden, inexpensive appearance of my favorite veg.