chore, clear, cattle

* I begin a chore that I have been dreading but it goes well and two hours later I am drenched in sweat ready to haul away trash.

* The day clears so in the late afternoon I can hang out sheets.

* When  I pick up the mail cattle walk in a line parallel towards the fence that divides us. It is as though they are combing for clues in a mystery-except they are munching grass as they walk. I cannot decide which color of fur I like. (Do cattle have fur?)

another

and another....

* I so love to sit in a sun filled room long hours until suddenly I realize it is dark outside and I am in the dark.

* She says the flowers are affecting her sinuses so she brings the bouquet over to my house. I suspect that truly they were not bothering her but she just wanted me to have them. Simple kindnesses make me cry.

spent, film, windows, aches

* I am Edith. I am Lady Slane.

* "Truly, Madly, Deeply"

* Windows that crank open and shut.

* The perversity of the body that aches all day and finally when it is dark and I cannot go out and I need to go to bed, calms. 

yipes, food, dentist

* I sleep in after cathartic dreams, calm at last and at peace that I have accomplished perfectly all that is on the checklist. Then.....yipes! An e-mail about the urgent, catastrophic need for refrigerator water filters!! (not enough exclamation points in the universe) I am almost caught by it then dissolve in laughter.

* Family dinner night went well last week so tonight it is Greek.

* I have a reason to cancel a dental appointment.

dogs, season

* Late summer, when the dogs look as if they have been blown over : totally on a side with feet outstretched, tail an extension of body, ears in the flying position. Taking advantage of the cool floor. I creep cautiously through the  darkened room, careful not to tromp on them.

* The season of sunflowers. And clouds of lavender purple Russian sage, sticky hands when touched.

the res today

* the res

*the res

* the res

res, aspects, waves

* "I think I'll go up to the res today. There's a new relief map."
   "I like relief maps--they usually make me feel better."

* "Rivers had become adept at finding bearable aspects to unbearable experiences."

*"You cannot stop the waves but you can learn to surf."

* As I try to open the door someone explains, "That door doesn't always open."

ice cubes, French, vest

* I forget to eat (imagine that!) and decide to stop at my favorite restaurant. At the table next to me the soup of a little boy is too hot to eat (and he has yellow curls) so his gramma puts ice cubes from her water glass into his bowl. I return to all our family trips when my mother's coffee was too hot to drink and my father was antsy to get back on the road. Ice cubes.

* Movies in French....and if I've seen the movie often enough I can knit and understand.

* I unpack his vest and remember Vera Britain unpacking with her fiancee's family his uniform and kit sent to them directly from the mud of WWI.

forehead, laughter, sleep walk, urns

* I kiss his forehead and wonder if this is the end. I do not want him to go but he is so weary and nothing will bring him back to where he was.

* I forget there is someone in the basement until I hear laughter. And I am reassured that I am not alone.

* I sleep walk through the day ticking off to do's while humming the Skeeter Davis song, "...don't they know it's the end of the world..." Everybody does the usual, the hospital PA plays "Rock a Bye Baby" when a child is born----what is played when someone dies? I ponder on that a while as the beeps go on and numbers flash on the screen.

* Oh, no. Another decision---which urn (out of scads of them)? I choose one and say, "This one. I can use it for flowers when it is empty."