box

* Up at 4 am, just done with sleep. Ah! A hot cup of chai. Why is the chai mix yellow instead of brown? What is that awful smell? It looked like the chai box! Really a chicken broth box.

stream, scrabble, line

* The drive to the po is a bit more tame these days. Use to be I drove through a stream of icy water in a low patch. The county got organized, unfortunately, and built a bridge.

* A continuing Scrabble game laid out on the dining room table--no tally kept.

* Why is the dog's favorite poop place on the ground under the clothes line?

dream

* I am still reacting to the most vivid dream I have ever had:
  I am driving my wished for dream car (yellow VW bug) through a post apocholiptic (I know, I know, sp) landscape. "Mad Max" "Terminator" scene. Rutted road, towering hulks of building debris everywhere, grey sky. No shooting or warring people. My yellow car is the only color in the dream. (Similar to that scene in "Schindler's List"when people are being herded around, all in black. One little girl in a red coat is walking out in front of them.) In the back seat are my brother and father giving me driving instructions: "Turn here. Watch out for the hanging girder. No, no. Not the pothole!" I do not pay the slightest attention to them, do not yell at them or tell them to shut up but continue on successfully dodging obstacles. Doing it my own way.
Of note: in real life they are both dead & they both never thought me, a weak woman, could ever accomplish, navigate, live through anything. I have been reluctant to buy a yellow VW bug because I like to haul around things and I thought a bug is not big enough for hauling. However.....if my brother and father can fit in the back seat......hmmmmmm!

V/V,weeding, valley

*  "Get up.
     Shut up.
     Throw up."

* Oh, Matthias. "A Little Chaos" My garden needs weeding.

* The road to the PO will never bore me.  Every time I come to the crest of the hill and the valley pops out in front of me......always the mountains are different, the air is different. Today, sounds individualized and jumped into my open window....the snort of a horse who had his head over the fence close to the road....a single note of a bird...water let out of the res rushing through the ditch bending down the tall grasses.

po, movies, best

* On the road to the PO aromas waft through the open car window: a freshly mowed alfalfa field, a prairie dog field, a herd of goats. The joy of late summer air.

* Watching movies previously verboten.

* Late at night I analyse my best moment of the day to be when I got the dog outside before she threw up inside.

O'K, phone, dogs

* I have done nothing at all this summer but wait for myself to be myself again.
   G O'K

* I turned off his phone today.

* The dogs follow me from room to room making sure they never sleep deeply enough to miss my moves.

tired, Burns, movie, heal

* That oh so heavy eye lid feeling when so tired but want to finish the movie.

* Seeing the humor in bullies and arrogant people--straight from a Robert Burns poem.

* "Blue"

* "Always defend your right to heal at your own pace. You are taking your time. You are allowed to take your time." Read this to yourself when you think you are not progressing properly.