Friday, May 18, 2018


Tuesday, May 8, 2018

mouse, corn, corn

*  Everything is well with the movers until he tips the refrigerator back onto the dolly. A stiff, long dead mouse falls out of the insides. I pick the mouse up with a paper towel, hoping the mover did not see last fall's visitor. He does not mention it.

* The window installer calls in sick and I work on my disappointment some of the day, finally loosing it when I see the California corn on the cob at the market.

* I cannot remember how to boil long? I missed the season last year.

Adele, garden, newly met

* As to Adele's party....aren't we all on the Titanic?

* I survey the garden in the just awake early morning...
   yes, that works...
   ah, what was I thinking ...
   how green, how green....
   the blooms, the blooms...
   and I just BE before life steals me away.

* Take 14 Americans newly met, tethered to their homes and lives. Shake together for 12 days. Add one insecure       Canadian not really dripping with truths.  Zen moments. We carry ourselves packed away in our baggage. I giggle at the shifting buddy relationships. I work to analyze just what of my sense of humor, my life, I can expose without freaking everyone and cutting gossamer strings of understanding. My ever  present knitted cap, "Why do you wear it even on the bus?" ("Chemo left me bald.")"How long ago   
did you have chemo?" I answer calmly and find common ground--movies, books, experiences. And delight in what of themselves they expose to me, what they will trust me with. Doing what I like best--being interested in them. At the last night drinks party the group conversation turns to assisted suicide and pulling life support decisions and I am so ready to go home.

Monday, May 7, 2018

maybe, grammar, robert

* Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday will not be able to see us.

* Grammar:
        The difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.

* Robert Donat

Sunday, May 6, 2018

home, travel, car

* O Canada.....but hooray HOME

* Travel burns away non essentials.

* Wait, now. What color is my car? 

Thursday, March 15, 2018

love, tuna, draft, cat, topics, knit

* “I love you more than bananas!”

* Tuna for dinner and I remember him scooping tuna from a can into a bowl and covering it with pepper. And the ghastly tuna casserole oils I burped throughout labor.

* The window measuring person comes and goes, leaving me with giddy anticipation of draft free rooms.

* Shall I find a cat to round out our zoo? This thought jumps into me when I discover piles of dried mouse poop after moving books so that I can unplug a cord behind the bookshelf. No book has teeth marks but the cord has been compromised.

* Thursday is the day we lunch together. Topics stumble around until we both realize what downers we have chosen. We shake heads and launch discussions of books, movies. And I eat the first beef in many weeks.

* I read that every sock wore by British soldiers in the Great War was hand knit—could that be true?

Saturday, March 10, 2018


* An early morning walk is a blessing for the whole day.
   Henry David Thoreau

* Stay close to people who feel like sunshine.

* The sun will rise and we will try again.

* You come home,
make some tea,
sit down in your armchair,
and all around there is silence.
Everyone decides for themselves
whether that is loneliness
or freedom.