knit, accomplish, knit

* Seen on a t-shirt:
     Knitters---writing code since the 11th century.

* A contented feeling of having accomplished my list today in a calm, mellow  way.

* I wallow in knitting porn, dogs snoozing beside me, until I realize the time.

je suis revenu

je suis revenu......

* Winding my way to the post office, I pause in the roadway to allow 6 (6!!) wild turkeys to cross. The man in front of me has pulled to the side of the road to get out of his car and I hold my breath while he finds a box in his car's trunk. (No, no. Not a gun, I think. Hunters are fine but this would be too easy, too much like a....turkey shoot. Is it even hunting season?) A camera is his quest. When I return home my room mate tells me 6 turkeys crossing the road in front of one means exciting adventures in the coming year.

* "Just put the cardboard back into the closet."
   (After he has fixed the door with it.)
   "Ohhhh! Your closet smells nice!"
   "Good. That means no one pooped in it..."

*  I pause for awhile at the stop sign because a red winged blackbird has lighted on the pavement beside my car (and I do not see many of those here). My mesmerized self suddenly realizes that I must move on but ah, only a motorcycle is behind me.

*  I follow 2 cyclists up and down hills until we all reach the stop sign. As we pause, a motorcycle cuts his left turn too closely surprising all three of us. Like dominos both cyclists go down. We three giggle.

AU REVOIR MES AMIS

mouse, corn, corn

*  Everything is well with the movers until he tips the refrigerator back onto the dolly. A stiff, long dead mouse falls out of the insides. I pick the mouse up with a paper towel, hoping the mover did not see last fall's visitor. He does not mention it.

* The window installer calls in sick and I work on my disappointment some of the day, finally loosing it when I see the California corn on the cob at the market.

* I cannot remember how to boil corn...how long? I missed the season last year.

Adele, garden, newly met

* As to Adele's party....aren't we all on the Titanic?

* I survey the garden in the just awake early morning...
   yes, that works...
   ah, what was I thinking ...
   how green, how green....
   the blooms, the blooms...
   and I just BE before life steals me away.

* Take 14 Americans newly met, tethered to their homes and lives. Shake together for 12 days. Add one insecure       Canadian not really dripping with truths.  Zen moments. We carry ourselves packed away in our baggage. I giggle at the shifting buddy relationships. I work to analyze just what of my sense of humor, my life, I can expose without freaking everyone and cutting gossamer strings of understanding. My ever  present knitted cap, "Why do you wear it even on the bus?" ("Chemo left me bald.")"How long ago   
did you have chemo?" I answer calmly and find common ground--movies, books, experiences. And delight in what of themselves they expose to me, what they will trust me with. Doing what I like best--being interested in them. At the last night drinks party the group conversation turns to assisted suicide and pulling life support decisions and I am so ready to go home.
   

maybe, grammar, robert

* Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday will not be able to see us.

* Grammar:
        The difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.

* Robert Donat

home, travel, car

* O Canada.....but hooray HOME

* Travel burns away non essentials.

* Wait, now. What color is my car? 

love, tuna, draft, cat, topics, knit

* “I love you more than bananas!”

* Tuna for dinner and I remember him scooping tuna from a can into a bowl and covering it with pepper. And the ghastly tuna casserole oils I burped throughout labor.

* The window measuring person comes and goes, leaving me with giddy anticipation of draft free rooms.

* Shall I find a cat to round out our zoo? This thought jumps into me when I discover piles of dried mouse poop after moving books so that I can unplug a cord behind the bookshelf. No book has teeth marks but the cord has been compromised.

* Thursday is the day we lunch together. Topics stumble around until we both realize what downers we have chosen. We shake heads and launch discussions of books, movies. And I eat the first beef in many weeks.

* I read that every sock wore by British soldiers in the Great War was hand knit—could that be true?

lines

* An early morning walk is a blessing for the whole day.

   Henry David Thoreau

* Stay close to people who feel like sunshine.

* The sun will rise and we will try again.

* You come home,

make some tea,

sit down in your armchair,

and all around there is silence.

Everyone decides for themselves

whether that is loneliness

or freedom.

miss

*  "Sitting at night in a soft chair with a book, dogs sleep oblivious. My body aches with weeds pulled, laundry hung, leaves raked, poop cleaned up and too many errands  accomplished to remember. When I put down the book to hot shower and get out of the chair it is as though I have been punched in the gut and I wonder if I will make it to the water. I miss him."

people, neon, sun

* some people
   when they hear
   your story.
   contract.
   others
   upon hearing 
   your story.
   expand.
   and
   this is how
   you
   know.

(with a bow to swiss-miss.com)

* Neon sticky notes.

* The morning sun is creeping towards not being in my eyes when I turn east at 7:40 am.

Area, shower, muscles

* I worked, worked to finish an outdoor project today and feel soooo muscle weary and happy. Maybe it was too early for the plants I uncovered to be exposed but the warm weather called to me and the area looks so tidy now.

* A room mate tall enough to fix the shower head.

* Using muscles klunky from winter’s ill use ( or unuse, or non-use). At night I notice they are more graceful and accurate.

good day, dog, movie

* I sit with  the glow of jobs completed today. One involved a man come to talk about construction work I have been looking forward to. Dates set. Dogs well behaved. Not wanting to waste a warm day I began cleaning leaves and muck out of the rocks outside. Though the wind comes up I persevere, catching the muck before it dances away and prying out rocks frozen into the arrangement. No gloves. Filthy  hands. Dirt under my nails. Hamstrings stretching. Realizing belatedly I must look dreadful bent over with my arse tipped to the sky. And now I sit with glowy cheeks reading Built.

* I am more sure about this than about anything else in my life now or at any time before:this dog would lie against me 24 hours everyday and demand that I rub his ears (and haunches, and tummy, and back, and the base of his tail, and, and, and) if I let him. Oh. Maybe he would jump down to crunch the food in his bowl. (Bathroom break for me.)

*Blue, the movie. 

read + think

* Spent the last few days re-reading The Creative Habit and Steal Like an Artist among others. Thinking. Thinking.

giggle, school, piercing, snow, shake

* I drive to the PO through sublimation.

* These produced giggles from me:

   "God answers knee-mail" (on a church marquee)
   "contextualize"
   "virtual signaling"
   "feral knitting" (confusion of Fair Isle knitting)
   "born again spinster" (someone referred to me as)
   "boxer rebellion" (someone said as I was struggling to put together a box)
   The elevator box I rise and fall in is called a car.

* "I wish I could be in schools like that the rest of my life." Said by a son about a school I chose for him and drove him to and from everyday and paid tuition to and at which I saw him blossom. The pure gold of child raising is gems and appreciation they give when raised.

* sublimation=transition of a substance from the solid state directly to the vapor state such that it does not pass through the intermediate liquid phase

* Talking with my roommate about body piercing. My woman/mother mode surfaces spontaneously, "But can you breast feed a baby when you have nipple rings?"

* The first white cool powdering of snow that had come, silently, with no announcement, in the night.
Ray Bradbury Dandelion Wine

* It will all shake out. Meanwhile, I am putting up more twinkle lights.

glasses, chocolate, pizza, curtains, plans

* Yipeeeee....I need my sunglasses today!

* I gain 2 pounds watching Martha cook with chocolate.

* I succumb to a mushroom/spinach pizza...the winning strategy is sharing it with my roommate.

* Material I bought for a new dress seems not quite right but is totally lovely as curtains.

* We had such exciting plans for today's trip to another city but when our eyes met early this morning we decided it was a no-go. The wind last night kept the dogs nervously noisy and produced horrid dreams for me. I am really okay with not going--so much to do right here.

says, windy, balloon

* Struck (but not hurt or depressed) by someone in class pointing to the woman (not me) beside him and saying, "And this is my other half." So now I am half a person?

* A fiercely windy day. I air the bedding.

* A floating red balloon shaped like a rose.

wash, drape, class

* First day of my 'I'm Going to Wash That Man (and His Mother) Right Out of My Hair' campaign.....When his singing of  'Horst-Wessel-Lied’ seeps into my memory I jump up to insert something completely, completely different into the CDer. Presto! Got the shampoo going.

* I drape myself in regular britches instead of the fleecy sweat pants I have worn for a week to keep warm.

* Another inspirational writing class.

ducks, dark, books

* I watch the ducks arranged in v's above. I count them pecking at the frozen grass by the lakes. And I remember Sayers:
-How fleeting are all human passions compared with the massive continuity of ducks.-

* The world is dark, and light is precious.
   Come closer, dear reader.
   You must trust me.
   I am telling you a story.

* Rustling pages, creaking steps, and the whisper of a thousand titles. The music of a bookstore.

paper, snow, waffle

* My roommate leaves the house for a grub run and finds me in my car reading the Sunday paper. Sunshine creates perfect lighting, the car is warm, no little dogs disturb my concentration (or smash into the held up newspaper)=a cozy reading room. Reminds me of years I sat in a car parked in a driveway listening to the radio. Also, "I always knew when you and Dad were fighting. You would sit together in the car in the driveway."

* So happy I cleaned up the poop before the snow came.

* Finding waffle long johns in a store at the almost end of winter.

hoar, monitor, sockets, tidbits

* Hoarfrost on the rabbit shrub and trees as I drive to the PO up the hill and through the valley. The foot hills are shrouded with frost fog.

* I have been monitoring my blood sugar and experimenting with ingesting. Tonight rum.

* Freeing the wind sockets—they dance about joyfully.

* Waking early to buy  tidbits for a student to sustain her through the day.

warm, wire, weekly, present

* A luxuriously warm mid winter day! I hook up the hose and sprinkler to water the earth and trees. Poop duty first (we work together on this:they poop and I clean it up). The grass and trees and plants exposed, the sprinkler swirls, swirls. I dream of the results of my activity today, think about the marvelous shade present here in the summer.

* My roommate fixes the chicken wire perfectly to keep the dogs from barking at the activity over the wooden fence.

* We at the house have established a routine of weekly lunch eating outs. We touch base, turn off phones, talk in complete sentences. Today we interrupt one another frequently, finish sentences and laugh, laugh, laugh.

* I am so content in buying him a birthday present--one of his choosing, one that is just right. We go together to find it.

person, life, peace

* Librocubicularist:a person who reads in bed

* He who thinks he is bigger than the rest must go to the cemetery. There he will see what life really is.

* I only want to live in peace, plant potatoes, and dream.  Trove Jansson

lady, kind, home

* A lady gives me a book she wanted to hand into the used bookstore as we stand in line. Just the book I was looking for.

* A reassuring, kind dental assistant.

* A son home from an adventure brimming with ideas.

twigs, movie

* On my way out of the market I see the twisted willow twigs (I love twisted willow twigs). "I've got to go back in and buy some. They might be all gone when I come back!!" Giggle. Giggle. Imagining a blood thirsty horde of shoppers converging on the florist section choosing all the twisted willow twigs.

* Alone (but not lonely) to a movie. The snow swirls in circles (northern hemisphere circles) as I open the door. The theater is tiny and fresh smelling. My sinuses never clog up here. The previews and then....darkness. A magical, well done story is woven. Just me and the story and the brilliant actors, script and costumes, the beautiful costumes. Though not my favorite fashion era, I am struck by the simplicity of the post war styles. While the credits scroll the people seated behind analyse the "H" out of this beautiful movie. I know I am happiest alone, not wanting to share this experience in a manic pack animal way. I notice the beauty of the city as I drive home and the glow continues until I tuck into bed with furry animals.

whisk, not, books

* I had a Camelot moment today wishing that the more than expected snow would just whisk away.

* It did not.

* A bookstore I lost myself in for awhile.

reading, veer, egb

* Reading. Reading. I suddenly come back to earth, notice the time, jump up to attack my to-do list. It comes back, a story my father told to me. After learning to read he immersed himself, escaped himself, into books, newspapers. Collecting newspapers at the printers, readying them to be delivered, he would sit on the street curb reading from page one to the end. (Must know what you are selling.) In adulthood he praised Carnegie for library philanthropy, a library had landed in his small Ohio town. He escaped his parents' small town divorce (anathema in the '20's), his hand to mouth existence by devouring anything in print. One day he was told by his mother to mind the cooking beans on the stove. When she got back, smelling the burning beans and seeing her middle son reading, she beat him. What had he been reading? What did they have for dinner that night?

* Delighted when something I am watching veers from the plot course I sadly and frustratedly thought was to happen and blossoms into something more creative and still plausible. I had been ready to switch it off.

* Hearing of a decorative pin her mother wore=EGB okay. Even before the song.

shuttle, change, licorice

* Up at 3:30 am to drive a friend to the airport shuttle, the fresh unblemished air cool on my cheek. I think that I might fall asleep at the wheel on the way home but, no, the beauty of changing traffic lights  keeps me alert--although I miss a turn and reconnoiter an alternative route. Home to dog grooming and no nap until 1 pm.

* I change around the room and thus I can sit and enjoy a different perspective. (And access a bookshelf more easily.)

* Black licorice.

brothers

* The Everly Brothers

* The Brothers Everly

* Two Everly

* Oh! My!

spa, cope, dogs

* Three days at a spa. No tv, no internet, no fb=clean mind. 

* Passing along a coping with challenges idea is satisfying. "define, destroy or strengthen"

* Home to happy, well cared for dogs.

* -The Universe is under no obligation to make sense to you.-
Neil deGrasse Tyson

panic, read, grumpy, cocoon, egg, conjuring

* Panic stricken, bleary eyed grumps, a wild morning at the coffee shop. The coffee maker is broken.

* Reading Red Famine as I eat lunch.

* Two grumpy ladies in the car driving to class this morning. I begin searching for positivity. Hooray, it is daylight. The sun responds by smacking me in the eyes as I turn east. "Okay lady, I'll give you some daylight!"

* The cocoon of absent mindedness. I forgot I have a nodule in my lung until the tech mentioned that that is why I am having a scan. Oh, yeah. Later, I find that it has not grown. "What's he doing in the basket?" "Er....not much!"

* I poach an egg.

* Lying in bed conjuring up zingy repartees. Walter Mitty am I.

* I remember the day we got all kinds of health explanations for him.
"You are taking this very calmly," he said.
"Oh," I said, as I mapped in my head the nearest hardware store. I needed nails, long nails. And a hammer to pound them into the brick wall I was sitting next to.

* How many episodes does this Turkish  soap opera have? Oh, yes. I am watching it over and over again. "How many episodes does that have?" my roommate asks. "I don't know," I reply. But really, it is interesting. The Brits do not come off too well, though. Portrayed by Turkish actors, of course. And all the Brits know perfect Turkish. No mention of the Armenians.

they say

* So, if you are too tired

to speak, sit next to me,

because I, too, am fluent

in silence.

Arnold

* What on earth

could be more

luxurious than

a sofa,

a book,

and a 

cup of coffee.

Trollope

* Courage does not always roar.

Sometimes courage is the quiet voice

at the end of the day saying,

"I will try again tomorrow."

Radmacher

it came

* The pure joy of waking early on a Sunday morning to peek out the window, investigating.  Yes! It fell. It came. Layering begins with the cosy cocoon of warm pajamas. Shovel, shovel, shovel. Sweep, sweep, sweep. (Though the snow is still floating down.) Off to the store for biscotti (plural). A solitary drive through unplowed roads, the headlights catching the snow glints.  I am alone. I am rugged. I am capable. Shelf stockers clog the market aisles with their work-to-do. Home through deeper snow to a driveway covered once again with snow. The crowning happiness:hot coffee with a foam of milk into which biscotti dip, dip, dip.

snow again, lunch, earrings

* Always when snow is predicted--how much? what kind? a wind? how long will it stay?

* We have Saturday lunches together. Greek this week.

* Hoop earrings

rollercoaster, rabbits, predator

* The rollercoaster of emotions as I buy a new car. R's blood is in the car I trade in.

* I watch the wild rabbits hop around the car lot as I wait.

* Early this morning a winged predator perched on the street lamp as I drove to the car shop and the bird was still there  when I drove home late, late in the day. Did he get lunch? I thought of taking him my kitchen mouse.

scans, paint, printer

* Thinking of next week's scans and not being afraid.

* The paint chip appeared grey, the paint manifested blue. The color will do just fine. And I thought that I do not like the color blue....

* My printer has a hard time turning off. I think I have done it but out of the corner of my eye I see the on light blinking. It just wants to keep me company on this cold nose winter's night.

needles, process, Steve, birthday, doing it, say it

* Looking for size 7 knitting needles in a drawer of unmarked, uncoupled knitting needles. Gold star! I found them. (Note to self:must search for a more exciting life.)

* I stew about something that has to be decided, accomplished. When I begin the process I feel better.

* Steve Carrell....

* Planning an escape for my birthday and knowing the dogs will be well taken care of. (And I giggle because of the pure dedication of my dog sitter who vomits when he puts the dog food in the dog dishes.)

* The pure delight of doing something helpful for someone.

* Have I said this before? Remember, the ark was built by an amateur and the Titanic was built by a professional.

boots, parade, corduroy

* I wallow in the fresh snow wearing my boots. (Snow cleans the poop off.)

* Giggling at (what else can I do?) the ubiquitous parade of issues I am suppose to be upset, concerned about.

* The snow forms corduroy on the deck where cracks have allowed it (the snow) to fall through.

yarn

* -It’s not hoarding if it’s yarn.-  (Love it!)

train, ship, procrastination

* Is it better to have your train leave the station or never to have had a train?

* Is it better for your ship to have sailed or never to have had a ship?

* Procrastination is heaven.

*-The Universe is under no obligation to make sense to you.-
Neil deGrasse Tyson

dog, car, dog

* Warm dog on cold toes.

* A daughter who reassures me that the oil leak in my car is not too serious and I do not have to dash out to find a new car.

* Now if only I had a warm dog for my cold ears!

days, Heart, deck, lei

* Some days are so disjointed that I am incredibly grateful to my mother for instilling in me daily habits to cling to.

* -Cry, Heart, but never break. Let your tears of grief and sadness help begin a new life.-
Glenn Ringtved

* Sitting on the deck my eyes are closed but I peek through cracks of eyelids to drown in the blue of the sky. Breeze crinkles the tarp covering the table, the smell of heated tarp. Chitterings of squirrels tempt the dogs. 

* I have given memorabilia of my father to my children so none remains with me. Yesterday I found fragrant pink carnations at the market, bought them, and made a pink carnation lei. My father gave me a pink carnation lei to wear every Easter. Little old ladies can wear such.

writing, sky, caution, glow

* An inspiring writing class.

* Walking home from the car repair shop. There are blues in the 7:30 am sky that have no name and occur fleetingly never to return.

* I must be cautious. Daily, at 6 pm, I am visited by great sadness. If I do not monitor the clock the sadness surprise attacks me and for awhile I am leveled. Will this be different when the sun shines at 6 pm? Will this be different when a year has passed?

* I feel my soul glow when in a group of happy, positive people.

shows, rock, waiting

* I have decided to not wear anything while sitting on my sofa not watching award shows. Oops! Seriously though, I do not have a sofa.

* But for an "a" a rock musician would be cleaning my floors.

* Is it safer to sit in a grocery store parking lot in the dark while waiting for the hardware store to open or to sit in the hardware parking lot waiting?

Mucha, ginger, soap

* 45 years ago.
   Mucha's 'Topaz'
  -Take that down. My MOTHER wouldn't like it.-
  Mother and Son dead, 'Topaz' is back on the wall.
  Portrait of a Marriage.

* Reed's Ginger Beer

* a Turkish soap opera

quote, patio, tables, window browsing, gramma

* -If you can't wait for your ship to come in....row out to it.-
   Greer Garson

* The patio umbrellas are optimistically open.

* I avoid the tall tables with tall stools (fear of heights or fear of falling off). They do remind me of Italy.

* Looking forward to window licking downtown.

* Ringed around the table with feet swinging (because they are too short to touch the floor), hair tousled. Youngsters are treated by their gramma whose face glows as she avidly listens.

eggs

* In the semi dark I read:
   ORIGAMI EGGS

explanations

MY PUNCTUATIONS

_____= a book

'    '= a song

"   "= a movie or TV or Netflix

<   >= a poem

-   -= a quotation

Straf, days, heart

* -This isn’t the strafe. This is only a little extra morning hate.-
    "Parade’s End"

* -When the days begin to lengthen, the cold begins to strengthen.-
    Pa Ingalls

*- Cry Heart, but never break. Let your tears of grief and sadness begin a new life.-
    G. Ringtual

constructs, humidifier, pizza, life

* A wonderful room mate who constructs 3 pieces of Ikea furniture with scant swearing. When I roll out the drawers I am surrounded by fresh wood smells. 

* A  travel humidifier onto which a small water bottle is connected. Just perfect to move from room to room with me.

* The smell of a pizza baking--I pause to identify the aroma of each ingredient.

* Giggling when I listen to people who bemoan life today. How would they have fared during the French Revolution?